Posted 21

Heeeeeyyyyy guys, shlonkom, shlon il 9yam wiyakom?!:D
Another post and i hope you enjoy it, btw i'm sorry that some of you are crying on what happened with Shahad, but come on lazem shway action ya3ni XP
Eee and i wanna dedicate this post to some people i love >>>



@unbreakableKwt @i1DsMahomies @RawrItsNoura @Saudiblogger4 @AlQallaf_D @JB1YM  @DrugOdDreams_ @_DeemaMD @Lulu20_ @ASulaimanT @ghanooma3 @que_miss @IBlogQ8 @N_6khaim_371 @SaAlahmad @B26___



LOVE YOU GUYS ALL



















-


Previously in Chapter 20:





He closed the phone in my face, the whole call i could hear Shahad crying and screaming and calling my name.
What should i do?!
How can i get my only love back?
What do i do?


I needed her so bad, i wanted to kill Osama, i clutched harder on the steering wheel.


Mesharii: "SSSSSHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!"

I yelled with all my strength, I wanted her, I couldn't stand anymore, I was so mad, so angry, so frustrated. From the loudness of my voice Fahad and Yousef woke up.


I hit the steering wheel with my fist more than once and i yelled harder.


Mesharii: "WALLAH LA A3LMIK YA OSAMA AL X, YA 7AQEER, YA NATHIL, YA JABAN, YA WA6II!! MA AKOON MESHARII EN MA 3ALAMTIK ZAIN!!!"






-

 

Mesharii's point of view...




We went back to the shaleh, i was so pissed the whole way, i was really angry, i kept staring at the road and driving fast, i didn't say a word the whole way.
We entered the shaleh, and as soon as we entered Yara started asking questions.


Yara: "Ligatooha???! Shino 9ar, shiftaw Shahad? Wainha? Goololii???!" She said it in a worried tone.
Mesharii: "La!!" I looked at the ground in shame.
Yousef: "Mesharii, shino 9ar bil sayara? Mino kalamt, laish kint ga3id et9ari5?"
Mesharii: "Kint ga3d akalm Osama, Shahad ma3 Osama!" I said in pain.
Fahad: "SHINO???!!" He yelled.


Yara burst out in tears.


Mesharii: "EE, OSAMA MA5TH SHAHAD, 5A6IFHA, 5A6IFHA, 5ATHAHA INZAIN, 5ATHA 7ABIBTII, 5ATHA MORTII, 5ATHA 3OMRII, 5ATHAHA, 5ATHAHA!" I exploded out, and tears came down my face.
Yousef: "Hadi Mesharii, hadii!" He put his hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down.
Mesharii: "BS W QA9MAN 3ATHAMAN, R7 A3ALMA, R7 A3ALMA HATHA IL7AQEER, IL 7AYWAN, R7 ARABII WALLAH, WALLAH LA 3ALMA!!"
Fahad: "Bs 5ala9 Mesharii r7 enlagiiha, lat 5af!"
Mesharii: "ANA R7 AROO7 ABADIL MALABSII BA3DAIN R7 A6LA3 W ADWER SHAHAD!"
Yousef: "Inzain, yallah, i7na r7 nifterig, kilna r7 endawer, bs Yara entay gi3day bil bait w ni6ray!"
Yara: "La ana baroo7 ma3akom "sniff" abii adawer Shahad!"
Fahad: "Yara lat 3andeen, gi3day bil bait a7san!"
Yara: "Okay "sniff"..."




I ran upstairs and changed my clothes, i then sat on the bed to just have a moment to rest and think a bit.

I stared at myself in the mirror and closed my eyes, as soon as i closed my eyes the image of Shahad appeared, her eyes, her smile, her long cinnamon hair, her looks, her dimples, she is perfect in my eyes, even her flaws, in my eyes, are perfectness.

I missed her, i missed holding her warm hands, i miss hugging her, i miss smelling her perfume, i missed holding her tight towrads me, i miss her, i just miss her. I would do anything to get her back, i would pay any price, i would do anything, ANYTHING!!!



I then took a deep breath and got up and headed outside, i got in my car and began to drive.

I kept looking and looking and driving and searching, i didn't leave a place, i looked everywhere i saw, everywhere that caught my eyes. I asked people if they saw her.
Maybe it was best to go to the police, we decided not to tell her dad just for today because we might find her, we didn't want him to get him worried.
I called Osama more than once but he didn't answer me, i felt like killing him, i felt like smashing his head into pieces.


I kept driving, i didn't sleep for two days, my eyes were red and i was very tired, all i could think about was SHAHAD, SHAHAD, AND SHAHAD, NOTHING BUT SHAHAD...
She keeps flowing my brain with meomries of her, i repeated the video's of when i met Shahad till the last day i saw her.
She was twirling in my brain. I missed her i did, all i wanted was to hold her tight and hug her and sniff her, smelling her perfume.
I wanted her. I felt like i was dreaming, i felt like i would close my eyes and open them to find Shahad in front of me, smiling, and calling my name.
This couldn't be happening, please tell me i'm in a dream, and a horrible one too.
I missed her like hell.


I looked at the time it was 10 pm, i was tired, i just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

WHERE ARE YOU SHAHAD!!!
I NEEDYOU!!!

I kept driving, and driving, i kept searching for Shahad, i didn't give up.

I then saw a near supermarket so i decided to get down and buy water, i was really thirsty, and hungry too, but without Shahad i didn't feel like eating anything, i haven't eating anything from the day she went.

I got out of the car and bought a big bottle of water with a packet of Panadol, i had a really severe headache.
I walked out to find a poor lady sitting on the ground, begging for money.
I put my hand into my pocket and got out some money and handed it to her.
I then went into the car and sat down taking a deep breath.

I won't give up on you Shahad, i won't let you go.
I will find you, i promise, i will.
Don't worry Shahad, i will.

I was feeling really bad, you know when you feel like someone just took something really special out of your life and your trying to get it back, but you don't know how.
I felt really broken, i felt smashed, i felt loss without her.
I decided to take out a paper and pen and write what i felt.
Writing made me calm myself down and gain back hope.


I took out the pen and began to write.
This is what i wrote:

Life goes on around me
I don’t participate
I go through all the motions
But what I really do is wait

I dream about the day
That you’ll come home to me
Nothing else is important
Why can’t people see?

 

I don’t want to go out
I don’t want to have fun
I don’t want to do a thing
Until all is said and done

 

You have no idea how much I cry
I never let you know
It’s so hard out here without you
But I’m not allowed to let it show

 

 

Has anyone ever thought like this? The way I think when I think about you? I see you so clearly your eyes, your mouth, your nose, everything about you is so clear. I still feel your arm wrapped tight around me. Our hands clasped, your thumb rubbing circles on mine. I feel you calloused hands on my back and I hope you feel mine. I want to see you will I ever be able to?

Has anyone ever been in such agony over someone? Is this pain even bearable? I hear your voice saying my name and making it sound beautiful. I hear our conversations over and over in my head. Do you hear them to? I want to hear your voice. Will I ever get the chance to?

 

 

What has happened is never spoken
And everything around me has been broken
There's no words, just silence.
Hate, but no violence
Sadness, without tears
Humans, without fears.

You were my angel
From heaven you fell right into my heart
But now that your gone, I'm lost without you
Where do I start?
My heart has been broken,
My feelings shattered
I'm far from flattered
I'm missing you more than ever,
You gave my heart a reason to beat.

I miss you...

I miss you...

I do...

I wrote down all what i felt, i just wrote eveything that was in my heart, i missed her, i did.
I then took a deep breath and wrapped the paper and put it away.

I then started the engine and began to drive.



Suddenly my phone rang, it was Yousef.



Mesharii: "Alooo?!"
Yousef: "Mesharii ligat shay?!"
Mesharii: "La, w entaw!" I said it in a painful voice, it was like nothing was important anymore in life except finding Shahad.
Yousef: "La!" He sounded sad.


There was a few seconds of silence.


Yousef: "Lazim ingool hag 3ami!"
Mesharii: "La, mabii y7atii, en6er lay bacher, w enchoof ba3dain!"
Yousef: "Okay, 3ala ra7tik, yallah tabi shay?!"
Mesharii: "La, yallah deer balik, w itha 9ar shay dig 3alay, okay?, bye!"
Yousef: "Okay Yallah Bye!!"



I closed the phone and continued to drive the car, and searching for Shahad.


I stopped on the way cause i found this garden, he might have her here.
I looked and searched the whole place, there was no one.
I then began to walk towards the car, but i heard something.

It was like someone was kicking something, someone was moving.
I looked around to find a door on my left hand, i began to walk towards it slowly.
There was some rattling coming from inside.


My heart was beating faster.


Could it be her??
Was i going to fin Shahad?
Is she here?
I missed her so much.

I turned the handle of the door slowly...
I then opened the door with power.

I was surprised to find......

To find......

To find a.....

A.....


A CAT -.-



The cat: "MEOOOOOOW!!" She gave me a weird look.



AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
SERIOUSLY???!!! A CAT???
STUPID CAT!!! AGHHHHHHHHH....

OFFFFFFFFFF I WANT MY SHAHAD, I WANT SHAHAD, I WANT HER, NOT A CAT!!!




I slammed the door and went back to my car, i was really pissed, i wanted Shahad to sleep in my arms today, i wanted her so bad.
I wanted our fingers to fit into each other perfectly, like a lock and key, i never wanted to let go of these tinny fingers of hers.




A555555555 Ya Shahad ma tadreen shlon ana mishtaglich...




I continued driving, the road seemed endless, it was like a never ending story.
A never ending nightmare.

I kept looking.

I then got to a stop light and put my foot on the breaks.
I began to look around, the street was empty except for the one white car behind me...
And there was a black jeep far away in the distance, it was parked near a tree, i didn't really care, i turned my head back to the street.


But something in me told me to look back at the black jeep, i don't know, it was curiousity.
I turned my head and looked at the black jeep.
There was some kind of movement, some motion, something was moving...


Suddenly i heard someone's horn, i was startled by the horn of the car behind me.
I looked to find the stop light green, i moved my foot off the break and on the engine and I began to drive.

I didn't know what was up with me...
I had this weird feeling, there was something wrong,...
It was like i had to do something but i didn't.....
What was this something...
I had to do something....
I felt like i missed something...
It was like something was not right....




I then suddenly..................................................................